Many people are afraid of conflict. They agree to experience a feeling of constant anxiety, just not to leave their comfort zone. If you want to get rid of this painful condition, you will have to initiate a conflict and defend your interests. To change the situation, but at the same time maintain a relationship, you must follow a number of rules.
Get your arguments down on paper
As a rule, conflicts are emotional. By putting your thoughts on paper, you will prepare yourself to stick to questions that directly concern you. conflict situation. So you are more likely to talk about what you would like to change in the relationship, and not go over to mutual accusations.
Observe the interlocutor from the side
No matter how you prepare for the conversation, it is difficult to resist the emotional flow into which the other side is trying to involve you. However, as soon as the affect turns on: aggression in response to the attack of the offender or, on the contrary, fear, you have lost. You forget about everything that you previously wrote, and you get into an emotional flow that deprives you of the ability to think rationally. Try to take a symbolic step aside, shifting your attention from what you are being told to who is saying it. Take a closer look at how a person looks at this moment, what color of eyes he has, features of clothing. Is his hair dyed or natural? Is the shirt well ironed? Imagine him not as your opponent, but as a five-year-old kid who just got older. So you will return composure, which will help to act in your own interests.
Determine what the interlocutor really wants
Conflicts can be direct and implicit. In the first case, everything is clear: your car is cut off on the freeway, and the conflict does not go beyond the traffic incident. However, sometimes a completely different reason for dissatisfaction can be hidden behind the expressed claim. A loved one is jealous of you, but for various reasons he does not dare to express it. Instead, he accuses you of insisting on a trip to friends, and he would prefer another pastime. The position of a detached observer here again will allow you to better see the undercurrents: what really lies at the heart of the conflict.
Let the interlocutor talk
Every conflict has its phases. Do not try to quickly end an unpleasant conversation and give the interlocutor the opportunity to go through the most emotional stage allowing you to get rid of the accumulated burden of resentment. The more tension in a person, the more difficult it is for him to understand you. The words that it is important for him to hear from you: "I understand you."
Return what was said
IN short form tell him everything he said. This will make the person feel that they are understood and accepted by you.
Materialistic philosophy says that there should be no fear of death at all. She advised people: “Don't be afraid of death. What is natural cannot be scary.” Can this convince anyone?
It was clear to our ancestors that death is as natural as life, and they accepted it calmly. The dying might have a sense of grief; he was sorry to leave loved ones, nature, everything that he loved on earth, but regret and grief are not a fear of death, but a completely different feeling.
Everyone who has been beyond this world said that at the very moment of the transition there was no pain. Pain and other symptoms were related to the disease itself, but they only lasted until the transition. During the transition and after it, there was no more pain. On the contrary, a feeling of peace, peace and even happiness came. The very moment of transition is imperceptible. Some spoke of losing consciousness only for a short time.
Glad to know that in critical time there will be no pain or any unpleasant physical sensations. And yet, each of us sometimes comes to mind and other restless thoughts: “What will happen to me then? What if it's not? But what if death is not the end, and after the death of the body, I, unexpectedly for myself, suddenly find myself in completely new conditions, retaining the ability to see, hear and feel? And most importantly, what if our future beyond the threshold to some extent depends on how we lived our time and what we were like when we crossed the threshold of death?
One must try to understand that death does not permanently destroy conscious experience. It can be confidently said that a certain part of a human being - his consciousness - continues to live even after physical body ceases to function and is completely destroyed.
For someone who has never seriously thought about what awaits him after death, it is difficult to immediately accept new data. They contradict the very spirit of our time, and to a person who lives by material interests, they seem unusual and implausible.
Of course, even having understood this, we will not stop being afraid of death. But still, if you feel with your mind and heart that death is not our enemy, but part of the life process, then it will become easier to look for an answer. By refusing to think and learn, we make the unknown even darker.
We now know that the transition itself is not terrible, and that the beginning of life “there” is also not terrible. There is no loneliness, but there is help, and the first perceptions are safe and even pleasant. But the ultimate fate of the soul is unknown. What will be the definition of the Lord, man does not yet know. We are all sinners, and “our deeds follow us,” and our destinies will be different for all of us.
Elder Ambrose of Optina taught:
"Before the judgment of God, it is not the characters that matter, but the direction of the will. The main thing in the Christian attitude towards death is fear and uncertainty ... however, this fear is not hopeless. People who live a good life are not afraid of death."
There is no nonsense in the Universe, and the meaning of earthly life is real only if the death of the body is not the end of human existence.
Christianity and all the great scientists have taught that there is an all-encompassing mind in the universe, much higher than the human mind. They always talked about the existence of higher conditions of life for the soul.
The Church Fathers teach that the perfect sense of death is free from fear. The Bulletin of the Russian Christian Movement (No. 144, 1985) contains an article by the Christian philosopher O. Matta el Meskin. He writes: “The first and definite sign that the life of God has begun to work in us will be our freedom from the sense of death and its fear. A person who lives in God has a deep feeling that he stronger than death that he got out of her clutches. Even dying, he will not feel it; on the contrary, it will strong feeling unceasing life in God."
There is also the experience of the Christian life. One of the Fathers of the Church advises:
"Try to live according to the precepts of Christ, and you will cease to be afraid of death; your life will become full and happy, emptiness will disappear, dissatisfaction, ambiguity and fear of the future will go away."
Having left the dead body, the Human Soul passes into other conditions of existence and continues to live there. In addition to the visible material world familiar to us, there is another reality that we, living on earth, do not see. There is life in this other world too.
Death does not separate the two worlds with an impenetrable wall. Death is only a transition from one world to another. We also know that the souls of dead people can sometimes visit our world. Now we know a little more about it than before.
New knowledge and understanding will not come immediately, but they will definitely come. We must try to understand that we do not have two lives, but one. Life after life is a natural continuation of our life on Earth. During the transition, the personality of a person does not change and his individuality is preserved. After the death of the body, the development of the soul will continue, but in other spheres of Being.
As an example, let's take the story of a soldier who survived clinical death. It happened in 1917.
“Physical death is nothing. She really shouldn't be afraid. Some of my friends grieved for me when I went "to the next world." They thought that I really died. And here's what actually happened.
I remember very well how it all happened. I waited in the crook of the trench for my time to take over. It was a beautiful evening, I had no premonition of danger, but suddenly I heard the howl of a shell. There was an explosion somewhere behind. I involuntarily squatted down, but it was too late. Something hit me so hard, hard and hard - in the back of the head. I fell, and while falling, not noticing even for a while any loss of consciousness, I found myself outside of myself! You see how simply I tell it so that you understand everything better. You will know for yourself how little this death means...
Five seconds later I was standing next to my body and helping two of my comrades carry it down the trench to the dressing room. They thought I was just unconscious, but alive. I didn't know if I had jumped out of my body permanently or for a while due to the concussion from the shell explosion. You see how little death means, even violent death at war!..
My comrades need not fear death. Some are afraid of it - of course, behind this is the fear that you can be destroyed, that you will disappear. I was also afraid of it, many soldiers are afraid of death, but they rarely have time to think about it... My body was put on a stretcher. I kept wanting to know when I would be inside it again. You see, I was so little "dead" that I imagined that I was still alive...
I began new chapter In my life. I will tell you what I felt. It was like I ran long and hard until I was sweaty, out of breath, and took off my clothes. This garment was my body; it seemed that if I had not thrown it off, I would have suffocated ... My body was taken first to the dressing room, and from there to the morgue. I stood next to him the whole night, but I didn’t think about anything, I just watched ...
I still felt like I would wake up in my own body. Then I lost consciousness and fell fast asleep. When I woke up, I saw that my body had disappeared. How I was looking for him!.. But soon I stopped looking. Then came the shock! It fell on me suddenly, without warning: I was killed by a German shell, I was dead! ..
What is it like to be dead! I just felt free and light. My being seemed to expand...
I'm probably still in some kind of body, but there's not much I can tell you about it. It doesn't interest me. It is comfortable, does not hurt, does not get tired. It seems that in shape it resembles my former body. There is some subtle difference here, but I can't analyze it...
I felt very lonely. I realized that there was no one next to me. I was not in the material world, but I could not be sure that I was anywhere, in any place at all! I think I fell asleep for the second time... and finally woke up. The load fell from me. I think that now I'm in in perfect order and I can already use my new abilities. I can think, move, I feel...
Now I'm not alone anymore. I have already met my own brother, who has been here for three years and now came to meet me. William said he couldn't get to me for a long time. He wanted to be with me right time to save me from the first shock, but he failed. He works with those who are just arriving here, and he has a lot of experience.”
For illustration, we present famous story about the soldier's prayer. During Patriotic War in the battle, the Red Army soldier Alexander Zaitsev was killed. His friend found in the pocket of the dead man's tunic a poem written on the eve of the battle.
Listen, God, not once in my life
I didn't talk to you, but today
I want to greet you.
You know, I've always been told since childhood
That there is no You, and I believed the fool.
I have never beheld your creations.
And so tonight I watched
To the starry sky that was above me.
I suddenly realized, admiring their flicker,
How cruel deceit can be.
I don't know, God, will you give me your hand?
But I will tell you and you will understand me.
Isn't it strange that among most terrible hell
A light suddenly opened to me, and I saw You?
Other than that, I have nothing to say.
I also want to say that, as you know,
The battle will be wicked;
Perhaps at night I will knock on You.
And so, even though I have not been your friend until now,
Will You let me in when I come?
But I think I'm crying. My God,
You see what happened to me
What have I seen now?
Farewell, my God! I'm going, I'm not likely to come back.
How strange that now I am not afraid of death.
Faith in God came quite suddenly, and this faith destroyed the fear of death.
We need to understand that our dead loved ones don't go anywhere. They live in the same universe as us. The difference is that they, being in that world, are more free than we are. However, both of our worlds are one and the same.
Chapter 2
2.1. Man and the subtle world
Consider the fundamental question - who or what is a person - homo sapiens? The Latin definition itself says that a person is, first of all, a rational being endowed with consciousness. Moreover, unlike animals that are also endowed with consciousness, a person can develop his consciousness, can improve himself. This desire for self-improvement is inherent in its nature.
Basically, a person interacts with the outside world through his senses. At the same time, it should be noted that even the physical world that we perceive with the help of the five senses is much more diverse than we perceive it.
There is another - the subtle world. It is fundamentally different from the rude physical world- the world of visible matter. In this subtle world, a person, or rather his soul - the basis of any personality, lives until his next incarnation on Earth, if he has not reached a level where there is no need to return.
The languages of many nations testify to the fact that in the world there are material concepts and spiritual concepts. Even primitive pagan savages in one form or another believe in the other world and that death is not the end of existence. Belief in spirituality is inherent in mankind from the very beginning of its history to this day.
There are phenomena that can be seen, felt, heard, measured, perceived by one or all of our senses. And there are concepts of a different order: love, hatred, compassion, envy, conscience, shame. You cannot see, weigh, or measure them, but they all exist. These concepts are also real and, perhaps, more important than all the phenomena of the visible physical world. In Saint-Exupery's book A little prince” there is a wonderful phrase about this: “The most important thing is invisible to the eye.”
We have almost ceased to feel that behind all manifestations visible world there is some invisible reality, primordial and eternal. We have almost ceased to feel the Divine Plan behind every natural phenomenon. We have ceased to understand that the ancient icons, frescoes and temples that we never tire of admiring are evidence of the spiritual wisdom of their creators. Artists, sculptors, architects of that time saw not only the manifested world, but also its spiritual component.
The subtle world was well known to the ancient Indian sages and Greek philosophers. Plato wrote:
“In my opinion, not all of our Soul permanently resides in a sensual body, but only a certain part of it, which, being immersed in this world ... and becoming clogged and clouded, prevents us from perceiving what the highest part of our soul perceives.”
Luther wrote: “The created soul of man has two eyes - one can contemplate the eternal, the other can only contemplate the temporal and the created. But these two eyes of the soul can do their work not both at the same time... and only when a person is close to death, when his physical eye is dead or almost dead, does spiritual sight open...”
The mere recognition that there is a subtle, unmanifested world is a serious step for the person himself on the Path of knowing himself.
2.2. Soul and body
All world religions claim that a person is not just a combination of chemical elements. Man has a soul and a body. As long as a person is alive, they form a single whole. At the moment of death, the Soul does not die, but leaves the body and continues to live and develop in new conditions. Some prominent scientists have come to the same conclusion today (see Nat. Bekhterev on the soul).
After the release of the Soul, the body becomes motionless and loses all signs of life. At a time when the Soul and the body exist separately, it is the Soul, and not the body, that maintains contact with the environment.
This statement has evidence. The stories of people who have experienced clinical death often describe events that took place not in the place where the body was, but in the place where the Soul of a person was. His body at that time was in a state clinical death and didn't see or hear anything.
Here are excerpts from the Bible, from which it follows that the body has a living Soul:
“And to all the beasts on the earth, and to all the birds of the air, and to every creeping thing on the earth, in which alive soul I have given all herbs for food. And so it became”
(Genesis, chapter 1, 30)
“Because the soul of the body is in the blood”
(Leviticus chapter 17, 14)
“For the soul of every body is its blood”
(Leviticus chapter 17, 14)
“Just be careful not to eat blood, because blood is the soul: do not eat souls with meat”
(Deuteronomy, chapter 12, 23)
In the material world, the Soul needs a certain body for its activity. A counter question arises - can the body live without a soul?
In nature, at some lower levels, existence is possible without the Soul, or, in any case, without what we usually call the Soul. However, conscious human life without the Soul is impossible.
Christianity understands death as the separation of Soul and body. The Bible in the book of Ecclesiastes (12:7) says:
"And the dust will return to the earth as it was; and the spirit will return to God who gave it."
What is being said here? The fact that the biological body is not eternal. It cannot be kept indefinitely. As any object serves us only for a certain period, so our body serves us for a limited time.
All that is not eternal, in fact, is dust. Eternal is only the Soul, which was given to us by the Lord and which has a Divine nature.
The Christian understanding of death can be seen from the letter of Bishop Theophan the Recluse to his dying sister: “Farewell, sister! The Lord bless your exit and your way according to your exit. Because you won't die. The body will die, and you will go to another world, alive, remembering yourself and all the world recognizing. Father and mother, brothers and sisters will meet you there. Bow down to them and give our regards to them and ask them to take care of us ... grant you, Lord, a peaceful outcome! A day or two, and we are with you. Therefore, do not worry about those who remain. Farewell, the Lord is with you."
good letter, quite calm and full of confidence in the future blissful life. As if he was seeing his sister off not on a long journey, not to an unknown country, but to Father's house where our loved ones who died before us are waiting for us.
A prominent scientist, surgeon, professor Valentin Feliksovich Voyno-Yasenetsky (Archbishop Luke) wrote a book with a very deep content “Spirit, Soul and Body”. He's writing:
“Between the body and the spirit there is a constant connection and interaction. Everything that happens in the soul of a person during his life is important and necessary only because the whole life of our body and soul, all thoughts, feelings, volitional acts (...) are closely connected with the life of the spirit. It is imprinted in it, it is formed and in it all acts of soul and body are preserved. Under their formative influence, the life of the spirit develops and its orientation towards good or evil.
The life of the brain and heart and the combined, wonderfully coordinated life of all the organs of the body necessary for them are needed only for the formation of the spirit and stop when its formation is completed or its direction is completely determined.
The ancient Indian scriptures, the Vedas, say almost the same thing, emphasizing such a concept as “reincarnation”. The soul, depending on its deeds in past life, receives a new body, which is most adapted for the realization of the qualities of this Soul in this life. The body is born, lives, produces offspring and dies. The soul gets a new body. And this happens many times. This is reincarnation.
A person who has chosen the Path of spiritual perfection is gradually freed from all material attachments, develops in himself a pure and selfless love to the Lord and gets the right to leave the material world. The person then returns to Spiritual world, World of Pure Spirit.
To illustrate, here are a few quotes from the Bhagavad Gita, greatest work Indian religion.
“The incarnated soul gradually changes the body of a child to the body of a young man, and then to the body of an old man, and in the same way, after death, she passes into another body. A sober-minded person is not embarrassed by such a change.
(Bhagavad-gita, 2.13)
“The sages who saw the truth came to the conclusion about the frailty of the non-existent [material body] and the immutability of the eternal [soul]. They arrived at this conclusion by carefully examining the nature of both.
(Bhagavad-gita, 2.16)
“Know that what permeates the material body is indestructible. No one can destroy an immortal soul.”
(Bhagavad-gita, 2.17)
“Just as a person, taking off old clothes, puts on new ones, so the soul enters new material bodies leaving the old and useless”.
(Bhagavad-gita 2.22)
“The soul cannot be dismembered by any weapon, burned by fire, wet by water, or dried up by the wind.”
(Bhagavad-gita, 2.23)
“This individual soul cannot be broken into pieces, dissolved, burned or withered. Unchanging, motionless and eternal, it is everywhere and always retains its properties.
(Bhagavad-gita 2.24)
“The soul is invisible, incomprehensible and unchanging. Knowing this, you should not grieve for the body.”
(Bhagavad-gita 2.25)
Of course, science does not recognize all this. It does not operate with such concepts as “God”, “Soul”, etc. However, facts are stubborn things. Only the most ossified minds can not recognize the existence of the phenomenon of life after life.
Scientists who belonged to the category of unbelievers, having begun to study the processes associated with this phenomenon, came to faith in God and in the immortality of the Soul. From this we can conclude that the problems are not in science itself, but in individual scientists who are not able to recognize obvious facts.
2.3. Methods of knowledge
There are several ways to get to know the world around you. The first and easiest way is the method of sensory perception, when a person receives information with the help of his five senses. Often people use only this method and mistakenly consider any knowledge to be reliable only when it is based on direct human experience.
It is clear that this path is far from perfect.
Firstly, human feelings cannot be called sufficiently developed. For example, everyone knows that the sense of smell is better developed in dogs, and vision in some species of birds.
Secondly, some people are limited in knowing the world through the senses. For example, a person may have poor eyesight, hearing, smell, or none at all.
Thirdly, even well-developed sense organs are subject to error. The eyes can perceive a huge object as small if it is located far away. The ear may not correctly perceive what we are told, etc. As a result, we may get a wrong idea about the nature of things.
From this we can conclude that the knowledge of the world with the help of the senses is not the most complete method knowledge. We can say that the knowledge of the world is limited by our imperfect senses. We cannot fully experience and appreciate reality until we go beyond the physical senses.
The second way of knowing the world around us is with the help of logical conclusions based on generalized experience. That is, a person receives information with the help of feelings, analyzes them and comes to some logical conclusion. For example, by the smell coming from the kitchen, a person can conclude that in this moment a meal is being prepared in the kitchen. And not just dishes, but a dish that he knows.
This method knowledge also has its drawbacks. The first drawback is that the initial data for logical analysis can be obtained with the help of imperfect senses. The second drawback is that it is impossible to comprehend events that are beyond our experience and logic.
The third way of knowing is to obtain knowledge from an authoritative source. Such an authoritative source can be scientific literature, Holy Scriptures, as well as people whose authority we do not doubt.
It has long been known that many of the world's scriptures contain knowledge that can be trusted. The only problem is to be able to find them.
The use of cognitive methods can be illustrated by the following example. Let's say you want to know the distance between two cities. To do this, you can arm yourself with a pedometer with a step of 2 meters and use it to walk the entire distance (cognition through the senses). Then the number of “steps” must be multiplied by two (inference). This way you will get the distance between the two cities. But, most likely, you will turn to an authoritative source (map, special tables) and take the required distance from this source.
Many generally tend to notice only what catches the eye, only what is really tangible. The invisible, although unconditionally existing, is ignored or simply not noticed.
Thus, the limitations of conventional scientific methods and logics play an essential role in the knowledge and recognition of life after life.
The unwillingness to admit that there are other spheres of being does not mean that these spheres really do not exist, but that our consciousness is not yet ready to accept the fact that these spheres really exist.
To cognize the subtle world, the world of spiritual beings, a person, in addition to the natural five senses, must also have some kind of “sixth sense”. Everyone has a feeling of the presence of spiritual forces in the world, but, like any other feeling, without use, without exercise, it can fade away. IN modern conditions, with continuous bustle, it never occurs to many to think about the spiritual side of life.
Unfortunately, materialistic science operates only with concepts that can be measured, weighed or touched. She stubbornly refuses to acknowledge the existence of other planes of existence. However, this does not prevent these plans from existing. They do not depend on whether we recognize them or not. And therein lies their value.
The mystical enlightenment of the mind was known back in Ancient Greece. Plato believed in the mind and its ability to know the truth, but only to a certain extent. He believed that the highest knowledge can only be obtained by mystical perception - insight or enlightenment of the mind.
Isaac the Syrian taught that there is natural vision and spiritual vision.
Theodore of Edessa wrote about the same thing - “one can know with the corporeal mind and the incorporeal mind”, and Simeon New Theologian“There is outward wisdom and hidden wisdom.”
On this occasion, the astronomer and philosopher Medler writes:
"A true scientist cannot be an unbeliever, since the laws of nature and the laws of God are one and the same."
Science needs to return to direct, immediate observations, without discarding anything and simply describing what it knows. It must be admitted that everything mystical phenomena also available for research.
2.4. Why we cannot accept the existence of the phenomenon of life after life
There are several factors that make it difficult to accept the very possibility of the existence of an afterlife. Sometimes we just do not want to soberly and calmly look at this problem from the other side.
Mankind is ready to believe that there is life after life, but only with a caveat - if he is provided with evidence. For modern man, evidence is the only argument for accepting a statement. No proof means it doesn't exist. It is easier for us to deny everything, acting on the principle: “This cannot be, because this can never be.”
In general, humanity can be divided into three categories:
those who believe unconditionally in the life after life;
willing to believe in life after life if they are presented with indisputable evidence;
who do not believe in life after life.
It seems to us that the most important delusion is our false idea that our five basic senses - sight, hearing, smell, touch and taste - are universal and that only through them can we learn something.
But we have more than just these five senses. No one has ever seen love, mind, reason. But we know very well that they really exist. That is, we receive knowledge about people and the world around us not only with the help of five senses, but also with the help of more subtle mechanisms of consciousness.
It is also impossible to convince yourself and another person of the existence of life after life with the help of arguments and evidence. This must be learned by our inner consciousness. It is something like faith.
Scientists in many countries have been arguing for centuries whether life like ours exists on other planets. The inability of our senses and instruments to detect this life does not mean that it does not exist. It is possible that the inhabitants of other worlds have forms of existence different from ours, it is possible that they are represented in images invisible to our eyes, and so on.
It can be compared to a big fan. If its blades rotate at high speed, then we do not see them and are able to observe objects that are located behind the fan. If the blades rotate slowly, then we see the blades and do not constantly see objects that are located behind the fan.
Also, we are too accustomed to trusting science. Until science officially declares the existence of the phenomenon of life after life, it will probably be difficult for many of us to accept this fact. However, the experience of science itself shows that if something else is not recognized by it, this does not mean that it does not exist. A striking example For many centuries, scientists believed that the Sun revolved around the Earth.
We believe that only our worldview, our upbringing, our exclusive trust in science determine our inability to believe that there is life after life.
Often skeptics refer to the fact that there is no evidence of an afterlife, because no one has yet returned “from there”. Yes it is. In a new or old physical body, no one has yet returned “from there”. But there is indisputable evidence of the transfer of information by people who have already left from other planes of Existence.
To the new, if it goes against the generally accepted, in general, they are often treated with suspicion. The abstract is especially difficult to accept. A person often believes only in the direct perception of his senses, forgetting that not everything that exists in nature is known through the senses. It has long been known that in order for a large scientific discovery became the property broad masses, must be replaced by at least two or three generations. That's what "dynamics" sometimes decides the fate of many brilliant projects and ideas! One can only regret such human limitations.
It is not always very easy to realize something new, but it is especially difficult for some people to accept the idea of immortality, since this idea will inevitably lead to the idea of responsibility for everything done during life on Earth.
In conclusion, we present famous saying Pascal:
"Last step reason is to recognize the existence of many such things that go beyond our knowledge, and if the mind does not come to this knowledge, then it is a very weak mind.
It is worth noting that thanks to even a slight expansion of our ability to perceive the vibrations of the world around us, we could become aware of the presence of people outside our world.
The consciousness of individual people is sometimes tuned to the frequencies of the other world and they have the opportunity to look at this world from the outside.
Dr. Ralph Harlow, professor at Smith College, recounts an experience that happened to him and his wife as they walked in the woods near Ballardville, Massachusetts, one spring morning.
“Behind, at a considerable distance, we heard muffled voices. I told Marion that we are not alone. Marion nodded and looked around. We did not see anything, but the voices seemed to be approaching much faster than we ourselves were walking, and we realized that the strangers would soon overtake us. Then it became clear to us that the sounds were coming from behind and above, then we looked up.
About three meters above us and slightly to the left, a group of amazing, beautiful creatures, glowing with spiritual beauty, floated through the air. We stopped and watched intently as they passed us. They were six young beautiful women in fluttering white robes, absorbed in serious conversation. If they were aware of our presence, they didn't show any signs of it.
We saw their faces quite clearly; one of the women, a little older than the rest, was especially beautiful. Her black hair was swept back and appeared to be tied with a ribbon, though I can't be sure. She was talking intently to a younger spirit woman, her back turned to us and looking into her face.
Neither Marion nor I could understand the words they were saying, although we clearly heard their voices. They seemed to float past us, and their graceful movements looked naturally soft and peaceful, like the morning itself. As they moved away, their conversation was heard weaker and weaker, and finally became completely inaudible.
We all stood as if dumbfounded. Finally, they looked at each other, as if asking each other the same question. “Let's go,” I said to my wife and led her to a fallen birch. We sat down and I said: “Well, Marion, what did you see? Tell me everything exactly, with all the details. And tell me what you heard."
She understood that I wanted to check my own eyes and ears to see if I'm a victim of my own hallucinations. Her story in all respects coincided with what my own senses had told me a little earlier. “For those few seconds,” she concluded calmly, “the veil between our world and the spiritual world has lifted.”
As an illustration, let us quote the words of Bishop Ignatius:
"A person becomes able to see spirits due to some changes in his senses. He does not notice how these changes occur, and cannot explain them, he suddenly notices that he began to see what he had not seen before, and hear what he never heard before."
2.5. Messages of death in the distance
Quite a few cases are described in the literature when a person is the most in a mystical way learned about the departure of his relative or friend, who at that moment was far away. There are quite a few of these cases. Surely, many of the readers have heard about such cases from their friends.
There are also many cases when a person suddenly wakes up at night and feels that he is standing near him. close relative which is very far away at this time. And then it turns out that this man died just at the moment when the awakened one felt his presence next to him.
It is known that at the time of death the Soul of the deceased can overcome any space and visit their loved ones, who can see, hear, and more often only feel the presence of the deceased.
Animals can sometimes perceive such presence better people. The cat arches its back, its hair stands on end; the dog starts barking, “digging” a hole.
The great Indian sage Yogananda describes his analogous experience in this way. About the death of his spiritual teacher, Sri Yuktesvara, Yogananda learned almost immediately. Yogananda was on a train when his teacher died in a distant city. “A black astral cloud suddenly appeared before me, then a vision of Sri Yukteswar appeared before me. He sat with a very serious expression on his face, on both sides of him there were lights. "Is it done?" I raised my hands pleadingly. He nodded and disappeared."
Sri Yukteswara, as Yogananda later found out, died at the very moment when this vision happened. He predicted the time of his departure. As his departure approached, he fell into meditation and left this world with an expression of joy on his face.
After some time, Yogananda was able to communicate with his teacher again. The great guru appeared before Yogananda at about 3 pm on June 19, 1936, three months after his death. Excited, Yogananda immediately rushed to his teacher and made sure that he was embracing the physical body. “Yes, this body is made of flesh and blood. To your eyes, it looks like physical. I created a completely new body from cosmic atoms, exactly the same as the one that was buried.”
After talking for two hours, Sri Yukteswar said to Yogananda, “Now I am leaving you, my dear!” – and melted into the air.
Chapter 3 Faith The science. Religion.
3.1. Introduction
The birth of man and his death are the two greatest mysteries of nature. And these sacraments cannot be explained from the position material science. How difficult it is to explain the process of moving into human body of an all-penetrating Soul, it is also difficult to explain the process of leaving a mortal body by this Soul.
Modern science, as well as people with a materialistic mindset, of course, deny the existence of the Soul and life after life. Some of them are ready to admit this fact if they are provided with evidence. This is quite natural. Our skeptical society demands its own.
However, it cannot be said that science has not tried to investigate the phenomenon of life after life. Such attempts have been made repeatedly. But everything rested on the lack of an evidence base for the phenomenon itself. Indeed, for science, someone's statements and experiences are not direct evidence.
Modern society also, apparently, is not inclined to recognize the existence of life after life. This state of affairs is explained, first of all, by disbelief in God, in His Plan, in the Unity of the World.
3.2. The Problem of Unbelief
The main reason for such unbelief is the loss of Faith in God and in everything spiritual, which has developed over the past 100 years. The main influence on this process was exerted by materialistic philosophy, which recognized only the visible and accessible to the senses, and which denied the presence of the Soul in man.
People who live simple working life, people who are close to nature instinctively feel the presence of God. A. I. Solzhenitsyn said well about this: “I think that the feeling of the presence of God is available to every person if he does not let himself be swept up in the bustle of daily life.” This is the answer to why many do not believe in God. Often people just don't have time to think about it.
The origins of this disbelief are obvious. First, we all the time have to deal with information that is unreliable or severely distorted. Grains of truth often have to be collected bit by bit.
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What would you do - whether it's life or work - if you weren't afraid of anything? Such a simple question awakens countless fantasies, desires and regrets.
If the fear of being patient or showing complete idiot at least once kept you from what your heart called for, it will come in very handy for you important advice from business consultant Sandja Brugmann. You don't have to fight fear. Just accept it and don't let worries slow you down on the path to your dream.
We usually view fear as an unpleasant emotion that we do our best to avoid. Fear literally paralyzes, so instincts willy-nilly switch to survival mode. Alas, such behavior can lead to actions that have nothing to do with moving towards our goals.
Sandia Brugmann
In other words, if you let fear control you, you can forget about success.
This is especially dangerous for entrepreneurs. Running a business is a pretty daunting and exciting business in itself, from having to make financial commitments, dealing with frustrated customers or employees, and realizing that the decisions you make affect not only your well-being, but also the lives of other people.
On the other hand, Brügmann notes, fear is an emotion, human from nature. You won’t be able to get rid of him once and for all, and you don’t need to.
We are not faced with the task of curbing fear and preventing its occurrence in the future. Our goal is to understand what it is and learn how to act, relying on willpower and not hiding our heads in the sand.
Richard Branson put the same idea in a slightly different way.
Fear sometimes makes you wet yourself, but courage makes you act even in wet pants.
Richard Branson
The metaphor is not the most elegant, but the essence conveys absolutely correctly: do not give up on dreams because of fears, just accept them as part of life. Here are some tips to help you stop being afraid and start doing something.
1. Accept your fear
"What if I told you that your fear is a gift?" Brügmann asks. Pain and tension help us to fill life with genuine depth, because without all this it would be boring. Fear indicates the direction of growth and ultimately helps you understand who you really are. When we view fear from this perspective, it evokes curiosity or even gratitude.
2. Control your instincts
When faced with something frightening, people usually exhibit one of the following types of behavior: trying to fight, running without looking back, or falling into a stupor. If you have noticed this in yourself, know that you are guided by instincts. It is they who make us trust decision-making to fear. What will come of it? Absolutely nothing good.
3. Treat every situation as your choice.
Entrepreneurs know that things often turn out the way you never planned. As Eckhart Tolle said, “whatever currently whatever it brings to you, treat it as your own choice.” For both you and your team, this is the most humane way to deal with what happened. By fully accepting the current state of affairs, you save yourself from various forms emotional resistance, including fear.
4. Give everything you have to work
This is not about savings under the pillow, it means the ability to immerse yourself in as much as possible. It's how easily you engage with colleagues and activate your thinking skills to look at a problem from a non-standard perspective and find a creative way to solve it.
5. Handle objections and criticism positively
“If you're doing something really new, get ready to be rebuffed by traditional thinkers,” Brügmann says. By creating something that did not exist before, you challenge the status quo. Some people are frightened by innovations, while others are made ashamed that they themselves did not think of it before.
You can measure your success by the amount of criticism you receive.
Sandia Brugmann
6. Make fear and failure work for you.
If you, like most people, are afraid of failure, make fear your assistant. What is needed for this? Sandia Brügmann advises revisiting the very definition of failure. "Failure for me is not the exact opposite of success, failure is what will happen if I don't get out of my comfort zone."
Look at any business from this angle, and the fear of failure will force you to act.
7. Don't let superfluous thoughts take over.
You will never be able to control everything that happens, but you are free to choose how to react to it. When something bad happens, we tend to look for the cause of what happened in ourselves.
For example, you worked for a long time on the launch of a large-scale project or negotiated with an intractable client, but in the end everything went to pieces. Does this mean that the project or idea was so-so? No. It doesn't say anything about you as a person at all, so don't waste your time reflecting. Think better what will be the next step towards achieving the goal. And remember: your path to success is by no means limited to one certain person or opportunity.
8. Learn to hear your fear
Try to recognize the signs of fear as early as possible and understand how it affects you. Yes, it's not that easy. Sandia Brügmann believes that explaining to ourselves who we really are is one of the most difficult tasks. The biggest lie, in the truth of which we ourselves believe and make others believe, is the idea of ourselves as a whole and unchanging person.
In fact, we are made up of many subpersonalities. Our task is to thoroughly study each of them, finding positive features and those that need to be corrected. Judgment has no place here. This is just a path to growth, change, the ability to curb fear and make informed choices based on your inner strength.
9. Rest in the heart of the storm
“Find a stable and balanced position within yourself and stay in it for as long as possible,” advises Sandja Brügmann. This is the point of your self-confidence, it is here that you can draw strength in order to follow the goal during periods of ups and downs in work and in your personal life.
If your well-being, peace and happiness depend solely on external factors, the stress level will be too high and eventually become a barrier to success.
Get rid of the event orientation. So you can go on the chosen course for as long as you like. You will gain the ability to accept and stop postponing them for later, justifying yourself with fear and the tension generated by it.
A person can worry, worry, be afraid of something - this is normal, if there is objective reasons. However, there are situations when the strength to cope with their emotions is not enough, and the advice of friends and relatives does not help. If fears become obsessive, aggression arises on empty place, and anxiety interferes with life - this is an occasion to seriously think and seek help from a specialist.
the day before world day of Mental Health, which is celebrated annually on October 10, we asked questions to the Dean of the Faculty of Psychology of Moscow State University, the chief freelance psychologist of the Ministry of Health of Russia, Yuri Zinchenko, and psychiatrist, psychotherapist Konstantin Olkhovy.
Psychologist and psychiatrist, psychotherapist - what's the difference?
The psychologist is engaged in non-drug correction of mental disorders. A psychiatrist and psychotherapist are medical specialties. These doctors make a diagnosis and may prescribe medication.
Which of them should be contacted for help at the initial stage?
In a difficult psychological situation, you can call hotline single phone trust: 8-800-2000-122. If anxiety seems uncontrollable and unnecessary, it is better to contact a therapist in the district clinic. If necessary, he will issue a referral to a specialized specialist - a neurologist or psychiatrist. The referral itself does not oblige the patient to attend an appointment. “Appeal is always voluntary,” emphasizes Yury Zinchenko, chief freelance psychologist of the Russian Ministry of Health.
You can also contact a psychiatrist directly at the neuropsychiatric dispensary (PND) directly.
depression, anxiety, emotional excitability, other symptoms may be physiological basis and be the result of a malfunction of any internal organs, hormonal disorder. To exclude this, the doctor may prescribe an additional examination.
I feel that I need psychological help, but I'm afraid to go to the doctor. What are the consequences?
"There can be no more serious consequences than the consequences of the disease itself," Konstantin Olkhovoy is convinced. Experts agree that in order to put a person on a psychiatric register in the PND, which everyone is so afraid of, you need good reasons. In general, everything is determined by the severity of the condition, and not by the presence of a diagnosis. For example, two people with neurosis can be in completely different states: one lives normally and fully, the second cannot leave the house, work, take care of himself and needs drug therapy.
What does registration in a psychoneurological dispensary mean? What is it for?
Registration occurs only after the patient is hospitalized, at the same time the issue of disability due to mental or neurological disorders is resolved. There are two types of accounting: psychiatric and advisory. In fact, psychiatric registration in the PND means that a person is under regular medical supervision. When the diagnosis is established, the doctor prescribes treatment, builds a method of therapy, taking into account the complaints and the somatic condition of the patient. People with serious illnesses or conditions that require specialist supervision are registered in the psychoneurological dispensary. Consultative accounting does not imply such observation.
Who, by law, has the right to request information about whether I am registered with the PND?
The diagnosis can be reported in three cases: to the patient himself, to relatives, if the patient is under 15 years old (up to 18 years old - if the condition threatens life and health), and at the prosecutor's request. In all other cases, for example, when the employer requests information, the dispensary does not report the diagnosis, but informs about the absence or presence of contraindications to work. It is important that the list of employers who have the right to request such information is limited and strictly regulated. Information about the presence of contraindications has the right to request law enforcement organizations, the system public transport(Russian Railways, aviation, passenger urban transport), educational institutions.
In what cases can a driver's license be revoked?
There are indications that limit activities for certain professions, for driving vehicles and owning weapons. Olkhova noted that, as a rule, we are talking about severe conditions. “There are conditions in which the rights of category B will be issued, but the rights of category D, for driving a bus, will not be issued,” the psychotherapist explained. So, people with psychotic symptoms, hallucinations, epilepsy, who are registered for these mental disorders, will be legally restricted in their rights to drive vehicles, because this can lead to death.
After being registered with the PND, they were asked to resign of their own free will. Is this legal or can I complain to the employer?
It is illegal unless there is a medical waiver. If before registration a person worked as a subway driver, the requirement is legal. When a person's profession is not associated with restrictions, such a requirement would be discrimination.
For example, according to Zinchenko, a person with epilepsy cannot work in mines, near open-hearth furnaces, or be a driver of vehicles.
Can they be forced into a psychiatric hospital for treatment? What about prescribing treatment without the knowledge of the patient?
Distinguish between compulsory and involuntary treatment. The first is appointed only if a person is involved in a criminal case, and the court decided to replace his term with compulsory treatment.
Involuntary treatment can be prescribed in three cases: a person is dangerous to himself (suicidal tendencies), a person is dangerous to others (acute psychosis, delusional disorder, etc.), a person is not able to take care of himself and there is no one to take care of him (dementia, deep mental backwardness, etc.). In these cases, involuntary hospitalization is carried out in a medical institution, after which a collegial decision is sent to the court, and the judge already approves (or does not approve) that involuntary treatment is prescribed in accordance with the law. “From my own experience, I’ll say that it’s very difficult to hospitalize a person involuntarily, for this you need very good reasons,” added the psychotherapist Olkhova.
What to do if the behavior of a loved one is dangerous for him and for others?
Relatives can first contact the MHP and tell the whole situation. "IN good option may issue a referral for hospitalization. In case of an acute condition, psychiatric treatment can be called ambulance", - explained the psychotherapist Olkhova. He noted that very good reasons are needed to receive a referral for hospitalization. If a person behaves aggressively, for example, is in a state of acute psychosis, you can call the police and then, having a protocol, ask the PND for an involuntary hospitalization, but in this case it will not be easy.
What to do if a person is in a psychiatric hospital and he himself - or his relatives - believes that his rights are being violated?
First, you can contact the management of the department, then to the management of the hospital. The next step is to contact the prosecutor's office. The person can leave psychiatric hospital if it doesn't pass compulsory treatment. “No one can keep them in the hospital by force, if we are talking about adults and able-bodied people. The decision for patients under 15 years old is made by parents,” Olkhovoy added.
In a divorce, does the fact that one of the spouses is registered affect the court's decision on who the child will live with?
It depends on the person's condition, since the diagnosis and legal capacity may not be related: a person with a severe diagnosis may be socially adapted, work, take care of himself and loved ones, while a relatively mild diagnosis may be accompanied by serious condition and disability. The court should take into account the condition of the person, and not the very fact of diagnosis and registration in the dispensary.
Under what circumstances can they be deregistered in the PND?
“You can apply to the PND on your own with a statement. “I ask you to protest the diagnosis that I was given in such and such a year,” said the dean of the psychology department of Moscow State University. “A forensic psychiatric examination is being appointed, which can remove the diagnosis.”
A person can be deregistered in the IPA and as a result of re-examination. In this case, the stability or instability of the patient's condition is noted, attention is paid to the manifestation of the disorders with which the person initially asked for help. In the outpatient service of the dispensary or in the dispensary itself, they note whether the patient is taking medication or not, how he communicates with doctors. It also matters whether he uses alcohol or drugs. If everything is in order and for a long time (depending on the severity of the mental disorder - TASS note), doctors assess the person's condition as stable, they remove him from the register.
Inna Finochka, Vera Klyueva
When the houses were blown up in 1999, it was the first feeling of a real possibility of "not waking up tomorrow." I remember how in the evening I went to bed on the floor - my old sofa was thrown away, and a new one was only supposed to be brought in from day to day. And here I am lying on the floor, that is, somehow especially close to the “skeleton” of 9 storey building, and I think that maybe this night the skeleton will crackle from the explosion, tremble and crumble. And I, clinging to one of his bones, will fall into the abyss. If I die right away, it’s scary, but much worse if it fills up with rubble - my leg is crushed, crushed to pieces, I can’t move my hands, terrible pain, terrible loneliness, death ...
And suddenly the flow of these terrible thoughts was interrupted by a strange lightness of isolation from the world, awareness of oneself in the face of eternity. The world became different, all the problems seemed different, everything superficial left, and, perhaps for the first time, I looked at myself from the outside and saw what my life is.
Then there were terrorist attacks in the subway. And again, eternity returned and stood next to me. We all, as before, went to work in the subway, but involuntarily looked into the face of those entering the car - maybe now there is an explosion, and I will be gone? Then thoughts began to return to everyday affairs - nonsense, showdowns with colleagues, internal dialogues, and again interrupted: what if now? After all, “whatever I find, I judge,” and I ... And again I looked at myself from the side, with an unblinking, evaluating look and passed a harsh sentence - everything is somehow bad with you ...
And an explosion near the National Hotel. On that day, I was returning from a meeting of the department and decided to go to our temple - Small Ascension on Bolshaya Nikitskaya. Usually I walk like this - past the hotel, leaving the Okhotny Ryad station. But this time I went on foot from Arbatskaya. Only when I arrived at the temple, I found out that everything was blocked off at Okhotny Ryad - a suicide bomber, students of Moscow State University died ... Eternity moved my hair on my head and was very close.
How many times do you think: what if now? And for a moment, just for a moment, it is impossible to walk with this for a long time, you look at life as before jumping into the abyss: who am I, what do I do in this world?
People who have been diagnosed with a fatal diagnosis see the world the way we do, only sometimes and not very seriously - everything superficial leaves and dissolves, and now I stand in the face of God. Is it good that we are so often in Lately face the fear of death, or is it better to say "the fear of death"? Fine. Think how many people live an ordinary, prosperous or not very life, and do not have the opportunity to feel the abyss of another being nearby, and having felt it, look at themselves from the outside.
“Some say that for the gods we are like flies that are beaten by boys on a summer day; others say, on the contrary, that a sparrow will not drop a feather if God does not touch it with a finger. These words from Thornton Wilder's The Saint Louis Bridge come to my mind whenever I'm afraid. In order for only one gray, nondescript feather to fall from the sparrow's chest, God must touch it - the One who alone has power over this world. Have trust in God. Fussing, breaking into a scream in quarrels, running around part-time jobs and playing with children in His palm, we forget that “not a single hair will fall” ...
What a terrible accident - to die suddenly, at the hands of a terrorist, absurdly, in the prime of life. Are there loving relatives nearby or just a dog, do we carry unfulfilled plans of revenge or compassion, do we make vows of hatred or love ... Death does not understand?
In that book by Thorton Wilder, “at noon on Friday, July 20, 1714, the most beautiful bridge in Peru collapsed and threw five travelers into the abyss.” Why exactly these five are an accident, hard Rock? The book has an answer: because they all fulfilled the covenant of love: "There is a land of the living and a land of the dead, and the bridge between them is love, the only meaning, the only salvation" - this is how the book ends.
That's the triumph, that's the reason for us to stop being afraid that death Disassembles. And so there is no need to be afraid. Human life is not meaningless, and people are not God's playthings. How arrogant to think that you can Just die. Maybe we do not see the invisible threads of Providence, but we all fulfill our covenant with God in this life in one way or another. The life of each of us is a great value that God "hides in a case" only when our time has come.